where have I been?

i guess you are wondering where I have been,,,. well I have been here... and the answer is NO.. I have not been following the plan..I have been exercising.. not even as well as I should have there.. I went to the orthopedic dr yesterday,,I have been having pain in my feet again,.. and thankfully just as I had suspected. it was time for new orthodics.. and I also have to get new sneakers.. the dr told me not to run for 2 weeks to allow the pain to stop completely.. that is no biggie..I will just do the eliptical and walk and such.. I am going to keep pushing forward.. a little pain not going to hold me back! This is Easter weekend and I am thrilled that my grandbabies are coming down for a visit! and of course my son and his wife as well.. we are camping until Sunday.. looking forward to good friends coming over tomorrow and doing some eating and egg coloring! it is a little chilly out there today but nothing a nice campfire can't handle.. rain tonight and most of tomorrow but I have some errands to run anyway! Everyone have a great holiday and don't forget to remember to thank Jesus Christ for his amazing sacrifice so that we may live!

Back to the grind!

We are back at Monday! It comes so fast I don't usually know how we got here! The weekend went well.. I got up Saturday morning and took a trip up the the West End to run a 5k.. It was freezing out! Wind blowing really really cold! But Steven and I did it!! Steven did an amazing job coming in at just over 30 minutes! Way to go baby boy!! And I.. well I finished it! my time was not good.. I did it in 49 minutes! which really isn't good..but it was my first of the season and I needed a time to beat next one..and that will be the time to beat! God willing as time goes on.. I will get better and better! After Friday's fiasco on the scale.. my eating this weekend was not great.. well not even good! I ate decent meals but did allow myself a couple of treats and more soda than a body needs!! and once again, I feel ashamed of myself.. I feel like a cocaine addict must feel.. just totally playing that game in your mind.. not a big deal if I just eat a small piece of cake and it doesn't matter how fat I am.. it is a constant battle! I never realized how much of a battle it really is until this go round.. I really have a problem with food.. I gave up smoking so much easier then this.. But another day.. another do over! Thank you Lord for your forgivness, your grace and your mercy! Have a great day.. and please please keep me in your prayers.. realizing I have a problem is only a small step in my recovery!

I have made it to Friday!!

Ok today sucks already!! I got up my usual 5:30 to go to the gym and being Friday I stepped on the scale.. well glory be if I didn't gain another 2 tenths of a pound!! Read my lips I am DONE!! I will continue to exercise as sick as it sounds, I enjoy it. but I will be eating whatever I want from now on.. this whole eating healthy thing is gone now.. So if you see me from now on and you don't like the fat... hey turn your head! I don't have the strength to write anymore this morning.. I have work piled on my desk and I am forced to do that.. have a great day and I will talk when I am not so angry! Pray for me today!! I need it!

Beautiful Thursday!

It is Thursday and the sun is shining! Praise God!! I went to my very first Zumba class last night! it was fun worked up a good sweat.. there were some of the dances that got pretty fast and I struggled to do the right moves! I don't think I will ever move my hips the way the skinny little instructor guy was! all in all a success!! This morning I was up bright and early... actually went for a swim this morning.. that was a nice change.. I try to mix my workouts up a bit.. keep it interesting.. I have to be honest here.. i haven't been keeping up with my points.. I know how important it is.. but I have just totally dropped the ball on it.. I have been following the plan and most things I eat I do know the points... but not all and I haven't been measuring.. so when I get on the scale tomorrow and it doesn't tell me what I want to hear.. who can I blame?? you got it.. that would be all on me! I am sooo tired.. I feel like I never stop running.. I leave my house at 5:45 a.m. and am usually not home until 7:30 or 8:00 at night.. that is a long day.. and now 5k season is starting my first one is Saturday.. but this is the price I have to pay for letting myself get this fat in the first place.. so I sacrifice my tv time?? big deal!! I can and will do this.. don't try and get in my way!! Well you have yourselves a great day and I will talk to you soon!! God Bless..

wednesday.. for real this time!

Ok.. first I am sorry I put that yesterday was Wednesday! Until I was called out on it.. I had no idea I messed up! Goes to show you where my mind was.. certainly not with me! So.. today is WEDNESDAY!! I did get up and go to the gym this morning! Yay me! I will either do spin (I am on the waiting list and if I get called) or Zumba tonight! Got to keep getting that cardio in!! Last night the weather was yucky so I did not go to the track and walk/run.. I ate a healthy dinner and relaxed for a change! I have a lot on my plate right now but I am trusting God to help me find the time to do all that needs to be done. I am going to be speaking at a Women's dinner on May 6th and I am so freaked out that I will have nothing to say! Again, that is where my trust in God comes in.. he will provide me with the words and also the women to speak them to!! Packed all good food and snacks for today! hang with me peeps this is bound to get easier one of these days!! Right! lol!!

rain, rain and some more rain

It's Wednesday and it is raining... again! Got my walk/run in last night before the rain started... came home to homemade chicken soup! it was delightful! It was 8:00 by the time I got home last night! I was supposed to go the gym this morning and swim... I did not! My legs are so sore.. I layed there and talked myself right out of it.. Gosh that makes me angry.. who do I blame.. ME, MYSELF and I.. it was my laziness that kept me in the bed.. tonight I am supposed to be going to the track to walk/run tonight due to weather, not sure I will get it in either?? Thank goodness I packed good food to eat today! I would love to tell you that I will jump on the treadmill when I get home.. I won't!! once I am home.. I want to do nothing. for now.. I must work my 8 hours.. I am exhausted already and the day has just started!! I will talk to you soon.. God bless

weekend is over

another weekend has come to an end and I find myself right back at work! I had a busy weekend.. Friday night rehearsal and then Saturday I hung out with my granddaughter, Jaclyn! We got our nails done and went out to lunch did a little shopping... Saturday night was the concert and Sunday church and home to do my food preparation for the week! This morning up at 5:30 to the gym now at the office and even took 20 minutes to walk over the funeral home to check on Chrissy. her aunt passed and she has been very upset about it. After work I am off to First Strides! Busy Busy! I have done pretty good with the diet all weekend there was just no exercise! It is hard to work that into a already busy day.. but I am working on somethings that I can do on the weekends.. I have another busy week! gym, work, spin, Zumba!!For now I must get back to work! just keep praying for me! and thanks..

TGIF!

Well I thought I felt defeated yesterday... I am totally depleated today! Today was my weigh in and I gain two tenths of a pound! Really!! I worked so hard this week and it doesn't seem to be paying off at all.. I should have lost something... On top of that I am so overwhelmed with my financial mess right now.. I just want to go to sleep and wake up skinny and wealthy!! lol.. I did go to spin last night... I did go to the gym this morning.. I am keeping up and maintaining my points.. Not sure what else I can do... I am trying to pray and give it all to God..but I am struggling to even do that this morning.. I am gonna get some work done here.. busy day at the office today.. I am going to keep my head up and move forward.. even if some of you have to get behind me and push!! talk soon.

so close to Friday!

Another rainy morning! I went to spin class last night and thought I would die! It was really tough one! Pete pushes and pushes... and I had nothing left to give! Got up and went to the gym this morning.. and have another spin class tonight.. my legs are completely shot! I have worked them really hard this week! 5k season is coming quick and I have got to get them in shape! I find when I work like that after work.. I eat dinner and really don't look for snacks! that is a good thing!! I was feeling really good about everything.. finished my workout and then showered and there was that big mirror in the changing room at the gym.. and I realized how far I have to go and for that instant felt so defeated... but I know this is what I did to myself so I have to change that now... I just wish I looked better.. not quite so pregnant!! enough complaining.. just going to keep moving forward! again I have packed only good and healthy food for my day here at the office. and dinner is a good and healthy one as well!! Just have to watch my snacking and I will be set! I am going to get busy on my day here and I will talk to you all soon!

good day... so far!

It is Wednesday morning and I am sooo tired but feeling good! Went to ESU last night and walked and a little jogging.. left a little earlier then I wanted to but my feet were killing me! Ate a nice grilled chicken dinner,, got up this morning went to the gym and did my 30 minutes of strength training and then went upstairs and instead of the treadmill (because of my sore ankles) I did 35 minutes on the eliptical!! and.... I was on the waiting list for spin tonight and actually got a call already and I'm in!! I am spinning tomorrow night as well!! I am finally feeling better about this again! Now if I could start feeling good about my finances!! I know, I know.. God's got it! I remind myself about a million times a day!! packed all good and healthy snacks as well as lunch.. so today is going to be a good day!! Thanks for listening to me drag on.. I will talk again soon!

another day!

Here we are on Tuesday!! I have had a busy day thus far and have now only been able to sneak a few minutes in to catch you up. I left my house at 8:05 this morning for work, normally I would get here by 8:30, this morning not until 9:30... it appears there was a bad accident on Rt. 80 and they wound up shutting it down.. which left every other road into Stroudsburg.. jam packed!! I just pray that no one was hurt in the accident. and by the time I got here.. work was already piling up for me! that does make for a quicker day to be busy like that! I went to First Strides last night and it nearly killed me! Running up the hills was kicking my butt!! I run on the treadmill all the time, but what a difference when you actually get outside...After work this evening it is off to ESU for a run on the track! so far I am doing much better then last week! which is a great thing.. as far as my food goes.. I have been eating salad with grilled chicken in it for lunch.. tonights dinner is grilled chicken and vegetables!! the only sweets that I have had today is sugar free pudding! and of course a banana! It feels really good to be back on track again! I pray that it will last and I won't find an excuse to sabatoge myself again!! God has been so faithful to me as I ask for the strength he has given it to me.. the problems occur when I try to handle things on my own.. because I can so easily talk myself out of exercising and measuring my food and making good choices with my food.. So for now, I must get some more work done.. I will talk again soon..

crazy weekend

Hello again! I had a long and busy weekend. We had a sudden and tragic death in the family.. was in Jersey for a couple of days paying respects there. I have to be honest and say I did not keep tabs of any points, did not do any exercise and honestly there wasn't a lot of dieting in there either. I did say last week that I needed a do over week and well that starts today! I am starting over today.. I can't worry about last week it is gone and "I did what I did"... I have my First Strides group tonight and I packed my healthy lunch and snacks! I am moving in the rigth direction here! I just wish it didn't take so long to arrive! I worked very hard in the kitchen yesterday after church.. I prepared the good foods to pack this week. I made my lunch so all I had to do this morning was grab and go! I will say it again.. for me.. being prepared and planning ahead is key!! if I go into without a plan the odds are good I will pick the wrong thing! I got on the scale Friday and had gained a pound! I could have cried! But like I said, I am starting fresh today! I feel like I have a ton of stress on me and I allow that to control me.. So pray for me today as I release it all to God!